GET BACK HERE, YOU GOONIE!

This post was originally written in June of 2008 on old blog of mine I've since deleted. Although it's much longer than other posts on this blog, I felt I couldn't leave it out. Enjoy...
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Have you ever woken up from a dream and thought, "that was genius?" About a month ago, I woke up laughing hysterically--tears in my eyes at 5:00 AM! It's happened to me before, but I usually go back to sleep and forget 99% of the dream so I can't do it justice when I explain it to my friends later.

On this particular night, I thought about that forgetting process. And the material I had dreamed was so good, I forced myself out of bed. I frantically wrote down all the good stuff I could remember--a race against my quickly-fading subconscious memory.

I remember thinking, "oh yeah, that was a good line...got it!" and other thoughts like, "this is a crucial detail--write it down now!" After I had unloaded my mind onto a small paper scrap, I was relieved to go back to sleep--no need to remember it any more. I had it written down.

I left the paper on my desk and for 2.5 days I had no opportunities to sit down and review my genius imaginations--my break-through material as a comedic writer--that great dream I would turn into my best work yet. When I finally sat down and read my scratchy script, I found myself howling once again. Only this time I wasn't laughing at the comedy of the dream, I was laughing at what I once thought was my big hit. I've never done drugs, but after this account, I can say I've been in that state of mind where the ridiculous is hilarious.

Below is a line-for-line disclosure of what I wrote at 5 AM about this wonderfully-funny dream:

- 4 characters who can't accomplish evil missions
- they destroy a hotel by stepping on a dragon's tail
- wrestling ring
- "Get back here you Goonie" - He calls the giant lizard a Goonie
- "You changed colors"
- One guy is a struggling wrestler (fat), his mgr. is gay (short and femmie), "You changed colors
- Most the building was floored, but their portion wasn't--just a few bottle rockets instead of huge explosions

I realize this is hard evidence that I'm straight nutty.

Some of it actually did spark some memories as to what was going on in the dream. I do remember the two most hilarious lines were the two I wrote in quotes--I remember laughing out loud as I wrote them! I also remember the bottle rockets being ROFL* funny.

Here's an image of the actual piece of paper:


I guess the moral of this story is this: ideas that come in the middle of the night are not always as genius as you may think at the moment. Remember, our minds are in an altered state at 5 AM. But the second moral is this: write it down anyway! If it's good, you're golden. If it's insane, embrace the absurdity.

*ROFL = Roll-On-Floor w/ Laughter

Seasonal Candies

What the heck does Reese's do to their candy when they make the seasonally-themed bars? Do they inject crack into the peanut butter?! Whatever it is, it's frackin' good.

My theory is that it's made fresh and distributed more quickly to the stores because of its seasonality. They're obviously putting more peanut butter in the shaped candies too. Have you tried the Snickers ones? Get ready for the best Snickers of your LIFE! The caramel is amazing.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not alone in my love for these seasonally-shaped sweets. Well good news, I have noticed more and more candy makers jumping on the bandwagon. This Halloween, I noticed pumpkin-shaped York patties--that was new to me. And Milky Way started putting them out as well. What's next? Turkey-shaped Mars bars I hope...yum. Pretty soon, every candy bar will be making our holidays better. And holidays are part of our lives. So that means our lives will be better by these candies, which makes it one of life's bests.

Sweet Victory

Anybody that knows me at all, knows I'm very competitive. I do not like to lose. It is one of the worst feelings possible. That is why the opposite, that sweet thing called victory, is so great. I was recently told of a great story of competition where the winner(s) must have felt great joy.

The popular Wall Arch fell this weekend. Before the fall, it was ranked the 12th tallest arch in Utah's Arches Nat'l Park.

So what does this mean for the rest of the arches? It means #13 won!

But really, officials wanted to get a perspective from other arches around the park. So they interviewed several and here is what a few of them had to say about the event:

Arch #13: "I just can't believe I'm here. I've been dreaming of this moment for centuries. I can't believe I'm in the top 12. I want to thank all my supporters. And to all those people who tried to ware me down and walk all over me, I say, 'How do you like me now! YEAH!'"

Arch #21: "It feels good to be top 20, yes. But my stand is far from over. I think I'm strong enough to make it to top 10 within the next 4000 years. I'll get there, I have patience to see it through."

Arch #3: "Who cares! It's not like anybody even looks at the arches ranked under top 5! I've been in this business a long time. I know what the people really want. And one day, you'll see--actually, you probably won't. Ha! That's hilarious!"

Arch #1007: "God bless #12, he was a good arch. To be honest, I'd like to check out myself. I just don't think I can do this much longer."

I hope we can all take some time to celebrate the long life of Arch #12. RIP (geologists are counting those pieces now) Wall Arch.

And congratulations to arch #13 and the 2000+ others who've moved up in the rankings. It was sweet victory for them all, and that is one of life's greatest pleasures.

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See arch story here.

Rock Your Neck Off!

I look at it this way: if I'm going to do something stupid, I hope somebody sees it so it's at least worth a good laugh and therefore, good for something. By the same philosophy, if an injury incurs as a result of a thoughtless moment, it should be shared, right?

Yesterday, I was rocking Guitar Hero III. And I really mean that. I guarantee I was rocking "Bulls On Parade" harder than anybody else in the world right then. You should have seen the way I hit the strums at the peak of my X jumps. I mouthed every single note of the song. And when I wasn't in the air, I was moving around the stage (living room) like Steven Tyler on crack. One particular head bang was so intense that I kinked my neck something fierce. I knew I had hurt it, but the song wasn't over and I wasn't going to quit because of a little neck injury. I went hard to the last note.

This morning, I about screamed out loud when I lifted my head. I'll be turning my whole upper body to look to my left for about a week. But go ahead and ask me if I regret it. My response is, "FEEL THE FUNK NOW!"

Rocking out very hard is one of the most liberating activities on the planet. Whether it's with GH, Rock Band, or real instruments and stuff, it's one of life's bests. Try it. I think you'll like it.

"RALLY 'ROUND THE FAMILY...POCKET FULL OF SHELLS!"

Steezy Style

At the Bluehouse Rail Jam at Brighton this year, we had a number of contestants who showed off their steezy style. Style is one of life's bests. And it must be embraced. Even those that try to avoid it, after all, are still making their own statements. Enjoy the clip--I hope it's your style.

Cool Crafts

Over the holidays, I was fortunate to get plenty of time off to spend with my family in beautiful Cache Valley, UT. I even skied at my childhood ski resort, Beaver Mountain. There's nothing quite like The Beav on cold winter days.

The Beav wasn't, however, the most memorable event of the Larsen's holiday vacation. Rather, it was the cool craft my family was fortunate to experience. I brought a heat-transfer iron home for the holidays. I also brought boxes of t-shirts and hoodies and a box full of Bluehouse Ski Co. transfer decals. It was a good time. Everybody got to design their own Bluehouse t-shirt and hoodie. Some of my family gots skillz, yo! Others struggle and have zero design talents. But everybody got to make their own.

Now, a craft is a potentially dangerous and self-destructive idea. While it can be one of life's bests activities, it can go amuck very quickly. Most the time a craft is brought from one of my sisters and of course, the boys in the family will continue playing Guitar Hero 3. Ladies the world over--please, for the love of family unity--start considering the interests of the boys in your family when brainstorming for your next family reunion's crafty activity.

Physical Challenges

I like a good physical challenge. And the world is a venue of endless possibilities. You could be hiking through the red rock and invent a game where your shoes can only touch rocks (it's called "Bounding"). You could be on a boat and decide to jump out of it at top speed ("Dive of Death" or "Entrada de la Muerte"). Or you could be atop a pyramid in Tical, Guatemala and decide to do a handstand (see video for the name for that). Get creative wherever you go and invent a physical challenge. You'll like life more.

Unclehood.

I'm the penultimate child in my family. I personally think it's the best place to be. I get spoiled almost equally as the youngest child does. But I don't get all the negative attention for being spoiled from the older sibs--perfect situation.

But, even more rewarding, is the opportunity to be an uncle of many nieces and nephews. I have 18. They are the greatest collection of 18 kids from one family in the world.

Meet two of them, Titan and Parker. Within five minutes after this video was shot, Parker had dutifully dumped a whole bean-and-cheese burrito--enchilada style--onto Grandma's lap and Titan had properly pronounced--to half the restaurant--his frustrations of having to visit the bathroom for a second time by yelling, "AWWW, NOW I HAVE TO GO POO!"

Please keep in mind, you're only meeting two of the equally-great 18. Like I said, I have the best nieces and nephews ever.

Best Friends

You know you've got it good when you've got someone you can call a best friend. Even better, when you have several you can call best friends. But you know you've got it even better than that when you can say that your best friend is one of the funniest people you've ever known.

To me, that person is Erin Cowles. Check her out...



She's so hot right now!

G-Rated Expletives

About two flippin' years ago I was working as a blasted baggage handler at the darn SLC airport. I was pulling a spring-loaded gear switch when the bloomin' thing slipped and snapped down onto my finger! WOWSERS! It hurt. It smashed my finger between two pieces of metal. I couldn't help my emotions, so I screamed, "AW GEE, WHAT GIVES!"

I realized after that I was acting like a silly fool. I was embarrassed, so I quit my complainin' and zipped my mouth. I sure do wish I could take them words back. I learned my lesson that day. Learned it real good.

Snow.

I just drove up Little Cottonwood Canyon. I saw snow. It was bliss.

The first snow of the fall is called termination dust. But I think it should be called initiation dust. Rather than looking at the season that passes with the fall of snow, I look forward to the one that comes. White mountains, peaceful nights, expensive outer layering, basketball, and skiing.

Snow is white for a reason. It's pure happiness and joy to those who have learned to make the most of it. A message to those who haven't, move from Utah, because here it falls deep.

Yes, this picture was taken today, Sept. 24, 2007, at Alta, UT.

Look-a-Likes!

So last week I'm at the Jamboree at Thanksgiving Point where couple of my favorite bands were playing. One of my most recent favorite bands, Flight of the Conchords, was not. However, while panning the crowd, we spotted Jemaine Clement (Jemaine of FOTC)! It was so amazing to see him just chilling with his friends. I felt like I had to make the most of the situation. So I went over to his group and totally hung out with Jemaine! Here are the pictures to prove it.






Look-a-likes are so great. But even better is hanging out with look-a-likes. Next time you see one, give it a try and I hope you have your camera on you.

The Simpsons (Spider Crew)

The Simpsons is the longest running prime-time sitcom in the history of television. The writing is genius and its characters are timeless. It's easily one of the best things life has to offer by way of television entertainment. That said, I've never planned to watch the show. I don't watch much TV. I just know I love it every time I see it.

Recently, The Simpsons Movie released and the spider-pig theme song has caught on like crazy. It's becoming the most popular ring tone and its YouTube hits are off the charts. My nephew, Crew, thinks he's spider pig...

Technology

I've said it before and I'm displaying it now, I'm a nerd. Right now 55,000 people are without electricity in Salt Lake City. I'm one of them. But I'm still able to use my Blackberry handheld device to send an email to Blogger which then publishes my nerdy words despite the lack of luz. In fact, the only reason I'm blogging about my love for modern tech is because I can when I couldn't have five years ago.

I'm no tech genius. But I sure do love what little I know of it. Now I've got to end this post because my Blackberry battery is fading.

Ugly Pictures

Maybe you were young. Maybe you were having a bad day. Maybe you were caught off guard. Maybe you were going through an awkward stage in life. Maybe you "hated that haircut." Maybe the outfit didn't fit. Maybe your mom made you wear that shirt. Maybe you're not photogenic.

Or maybe you are ugly. No matter the excuse, ugly pictures are awesome.

Awkwardness

How many sitcoms have banked on awkward moments? How painfully awkward is The Office? Seinfeld knew the secret of awkwardness long ago. Lately there have been a slew of films produced that are based on awkward characters (Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre, Eagle vs. Shark). People laugh at awkward moments when they're on screen. May I just say that it's a crying shame when we find ourselves living an awkward moment and we don't laugh at ourselves. Please people, laugh when its awkward - or at least point it out. It's simple to point out, you just say, "Awkwaaaaaard."

Awkwardness is one of life's bests forms of comedy. And the best part is that it's real life.

Do you have an awkward moment to share?

Friends

I just spent a weekend in Bear Lake with about 20 friends. I had some time to reflect on my life and where I'm at. It's funny how life will present a friend at the perfect time. I feel like I've been given more great friends than I deserve. I've had friends there for me when I lost loved ones. I've found new friends in the most unexpected places. And I've seen friends stick with me when they should have dumped me.

Friends are one of life's bests. A fear of mine is that I'm not the same kind of friend to others that I appreciate so much. This post is for my friends. You're one of the bests in my life!

Free Tees!

Free t-shirts might be one of the best things in the universe (and I learned a while ago that the universe is likely to be more than 23-billion light years big). Even considering the size of the universe, I don't remove free tees from the list of the universe's bests. Of course, that would mean aliens would have to like them too. I'm sure they do. They seem cool. Hmmm, if humans make t-shirts sporting aliens with big eyes, green skin, and over-sized heads, do you think aliens make shirts of humans with beady eyes, ample hair, and small heads? If so, that's really embarrassing for us.

Black Forest Gummy Bears

Please don't try and tell me there's a better way to do gummy than with Black Forest Gummy Bears. Hands down, these are the best gummy bears on the market. And the green flavor is amazing. Next time you see Black Forest Gummy Bears, pick up a bag and see if I lie.

BFGBs all the way.

OJ2 - Tropicana Grovestand

I can't even explain how much I love OJ. It's good at every hour. And the length of this post won't allow me to go into it thirst-quenching powers. But, if a person wants to take OJ to the next level - which everyone knows is called OJ2 - one must try Tropicana Grovestand brand. It's like eating an orange except you're not eating it, you're drinking it and it's not a solid, it's a liquid.

Life offers many drinks, OJ is among the best.

Late-Night FroYo at The Mav

I love having a Maverick close by my house. My friend recently told me you can get a log and a wiener any time of day for $2.49. Besides that, they're open all night and they have the best froyo in the bizznak. For those of you who don't speak Mav, froyo is Maverick for Frozen Yogurt. I recommend the mint-vanilla mix. Yumm, brings out The Beast in me! Everyone should experience The Mav's froyo. So do it soon but be sure it's late.

One of Life's Bests for sure.

Open-Face PBJs!

Join me in celebrating the existence of Open-Face PBJs. If you've never tried one, you're missing out. Everyone agrees that the best part of a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich is the peanut butter and jelly. When you reduce the bread by half and pile the PBJ on top, you taste more of what you love.

Definitely one of Life's Bests!